Humiliated and Excited
Humiliation and excitement go hand in hand for me. They have to; otherwise I would never get any sexual satisfaction. You see, I have a very small penis on top of something known as "disappearing penis." Being a light-skinned redhead, even though I'm thin, I am predisposed to carry a layer of fat just underneath the skin. This extra layer of fat also covers my groin area, which presses outward and causes the penis to retract inward. The end result is that without an erection, all you can see are my balls.
I've always been self conscious of the fact that my penis retracts but when I get excited, I do get an erection and it does grow. While it seems a bit on the small side of average, I was always sure that when the time came, it would be adequate to please a woman. It may or may not be adequate for pleasing a woman; I'll probably never know, thanks to my first failed attempt at sex.
Where is it?
Because of my self consciousness, I never really pursued dating in high school, but one I got to college, all that changed. I suddenly seemed popular; had lots of friends, both girls and guys. We had parties every weekend, and naturally it wasn't long before I found myself hot and heavy with a girl. We'd been drinking and were petting heavily when she suggested we go for it. I didn't want to admit to her I was a virgin but I was scared out of my mind that I wouldn't know what to do. I had a fleeting worry about my small penis size, but I pushed it out of my mind.
The moment of truth came, when she reached inside my trousers, felt my fully erect, rock-hard penis and asked, "Where is it?"
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"What do you mean, where is it?", I said. "You've got your hand on it!"
"I know, silly," she said. "What I mean is, does it grow? It does get bigger, doesn't it?"
That's all there is?
"No," I said. "This is as big as it gets."
"I have never seen a penis that small on a grown man," she said. "Is there something wrong with it?"
By this point, I was embarrassed and humiliated, yet I couldn't stop myself from asking her why she thought something was wrong with it. She laughed and said "you're kidding me, right?"
I assured her I was not, at which point her laughter turned hysterical. When she finally calmed down, she told me that she had been with many men, all who had penises at least double the size of mine. She went on to tell me that there was no way my puny penis could ever please a woman and that I should get good with my tongue because that was going to be the only way I'd ever please a woman.
Roots of Erotic Humiliation
Looking back, that experience completely shaped my sexual fantasies into what they are today. Remembering how she laughed at me, how embarrassed and humiliated I was, gets my wee willy rock hard with excitement. I know I will likely never get an opportunity to actually fuck a woman, but I'm okay with that. The excitement I get from being told what a loser I am and being made to serve a woman in other humiliating ways, such as cleaning cuckold creampies out of her pussy, wearing panties, and any number of other degrading and humiliating things she has me do, is almost enough to make my cock explode in orgasm without even touching it! Ahh, the sweet sting of erotic humiliation!